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CAR SALE A woman offered a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars. A man answered the ad, but he was slightly skeptical. "What's the gimmick?" he inquired. "No gimmick," the woman answered. "My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary." |
HUNGER 0ne morning, a wife asks her husband, would you like some breakfast, darling? No thanks, he replies, the Viagra I took has taken away my appetite. How about some lunch? suggests the wife a few hours later. No thanks, replies the husband.The Viagra still hasn't worn off, so I'm not hungry. Would you like some dinner? The wife persists some hours later. No, I still don't want anything to eat, replies the husband. Well, are you going to let me out of this bed? says the wife. Because I' m starving. |
FORTUNE TELLER A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Look at this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too." |
PARTY After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, "Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?" The flattered husband said," No, dear they haven't." The wife yells, "Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight? " |
SIZE MATTERS "What is that asked one of the Yank's. " " Why that is Buckingham Palace", answered the taxi driver. " Well you should see the states we have much bigger houses over there, and that. " "That is the Post Office Tower. " " Oh our towers are much bigger." This went on for much of the day until they went past a another building. " Our buildings are much bigger than that one too. " "I thought it might be", said the taxi driver, "That is the mental institute." |
IDENTITY A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said,"I've lost my dad ! " The policeman asked, " What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Beer and women !" |
